When Change Does Not Come Easy

The past two weeks have been very difficult for me, so hard I felt no future, saw no way out and no sign of a rainbow.I lost my home, my medical benefits, my income, and who I thought I was becoming. I begged--still begging-- God to stop changing me, especially when suffering comes along with the change. How can I live without these basic human needs? What will happen to my family? Why? Why change my life now? What good will come of this new horrible-to-me change? I had questions. God had answers for me. Yes, circumstances have changed, but who I am has not.I am a writer through good or bad, sickness or health, internet or mobile blogging(yeah I'm blogging through my phone.) It is who I am no matter what. I am His writer. People are hurting just like me, but can't express it. I can. More than that I can share who He is to those hurting. How He is the only dependable friend I have. Those that suffer like me will seek me because of what they will find in these words. I wish I could say I agree with God or that the words He gave to my heart make me stronger. My health is not so good. Bad lab results just come in this morning. I can't control that or any of these really sucky events. But what I can do is write that I have gained from this trial so far is that change is a gift.oftentimes, it doesn't come easy. Oftentimes, it comes with resistance. Most importantly, I believe in God, not so much in me.I still don't want to change. Dee Stewart is a Christian, mom, writer, owner of DeeGospel PR and a pretty loyal friend :) you can find me at www.christianfiction.blogspot.com, www.deestewart.com or on twitter at @deegospel.oh yeah I'm looking for a crit partner.

Comments

[susan fish]

Praying.

[Madison Richards]

Dee,

Your bravery in difficult times is truly and inspiration. Thank you so much for sharing your heart openly, and with authenticity. It is truly a gift. So is your faith.

Some days only come one breath at a time. Keep breathing. The hours pass slowly this way and it's easy to get discouraged. Don't. You've made it this far and you will continue to fight with each passing breath. Don't give up. Don't give in. Don't quit.

Love and Grace,
Madison

[Tracey M. Lewis-Giggetts]

"People are hurting just like me, but can't express it. I can."

This statement, Dee, is more powerful than you know. It is the gift in the middle of the hardest of trials. I will pray for you knowing that God is a healer, deliverer, and, as you know well, One who changes.

With the love of Christ,
Your fellow Kingdom Scribe
Tracey

[Shane]

"More than that I can share who He is to those hurting. How He is the only dependable friend I have. Those that suffer like me will seek me because of what they will find in these words."

Your words sound just like the Apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians 1: "the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 5For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 6If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer."

Your words are brave, they are therapuetic, they are gifts.

[Nedra]

I'm praying for you, your family, and your work, Dee. You are such a wonderful teacher (in addition to all the other roles you fill), and you are teaching us with your example even now. Peace...