This post is for you.
Writing stories is hard work, both emotionally and creatively. To help guide you to more healthy and unproductive means of creativity, I have consolidated a list of my favorite tools of procrastination. In no particular order:
- Check Twitter (a.k.a. networking, therefore within the realms of writing business)
- Start your exercise program by trying out that new zumba/spinning/yoga class at the gym (dancing on a bicycle with one leg behind your back)
- Read a book (training and education for your writerly pursuits as well as studying comparative literature)
- Take a nap (recent studies have connected the brain activity of producing dreams with creativity)
- Read blogs (research, especially if you read blogs of agents, editors, and writers)
- Clean out your fridge (what is that substance in the Tupperware container anyway?)
- Compose a list of ways to procrastinate
- Follow all random links in blogs, and then links in the links, and links within those links, etc (research)
- Scrub your bathtub
- Read a list of ways to procrastinate
- Pay bills
- Check the mail (again)
- Organize your books
- Research baby strollers on Amazon (this may apply only to a specific constituency)
- Troll YouTube for funny videos (Jeanne Damoff is an amazing source for this)
- Search NoiseTrade for new music that no one else has heard of
- Play with the settings on your new camera
- Learn how to use Adobe Photoshop to make your photos look professional (still within the realms of creativity)
- Remove the old, mildewed grout and caulk from your shower and regrout
- Check email
- Check Twitter again
I hope those few of you who engage in disciplined, everyday writing find this list helpful in your pursuits to procrastinate writing your story. Please, stop making the rest of us look bad.
Dear experts in the field of procrastination, please add your advice below.
Heather A. Goodman has been training in the art of procrastination for thirty years. She is now accepting applications for students, but be warned, you may or may not hear back from the sensei in a timely fashion.