Sweetness & Light? Darkness & Despair? Or both?

"What do you want to be writing?" she asked. She is my long time critique partner. She asked me this after reading a particularly dark chapter in my WIP. She remembered my first novel, about a widow who detaches from the hearts of her children. Though a hard story, there was enough light infused to make it almost Karon-esque. She remembered a book I started about two feuding ladies, only to become friends (entitled Two Peace . . . I'm still proud of that title).

Her question caught me by surprise, so it took me some time to answer. What do I want to be writing? The answer? What I'm writing right now: Southern Drama with enough darkness to make the light shine even brighter.

.The problem was she was mucking through the dark chapters, wondering if I was depressed and angry. Because she didn't yet have the vision of the entire book, she didn't know resurrection was on the way.

Even so, I do believe there is a difference, a line, a place where we dance over our darkness-for-the-sake-of-light into despair. Marilla Cuthbert in Anne of Green Gables tells Anne, who is "despairing," that "To despair is to turn your back on God." I agree. To court darkness too long, one dances a dirge and forgets the goodness of God.

So I take seriously my friend's question. I ponder it, chew on it, hope through it. Am I writing depressing fiction? Why?

But then I remember two books, both by the same author. At the end of The Kite Runner, I felt hope. I believed in beauty again. I saw resurrection. At the end of A Thousand Splendid Suns I felt despair, hopelessness (as well as a supreme desire never to make Afghanistan a vacation destination). The author piled so much evil on one character that I wanted to throw the book. And her "redemption" felt entirely unsatisfying, because even in that small piece of redemption was a hunk of fatalistic despair.

I don't want to write like that. But maybe I'm naive. Sure, I don't want to write plots that tie up neatly. I don't want to write trite. I want my plots to be plausible and real. But I also want folks to see the redemptive hand of God in impossible situations. How can I do that if I don't create those impossible situations?

Ted Dekker, at Mount Hermon several years ago said something to the effect of, "The light shines brighter on a dark canvas." I've hugged that sentence to myself. It's true. It's true of my life. As I was writing my memoir, groveling in the past pain again, I saw it in stark beauty. The pain and angst and neglect gave way to the astounding healing, peace and abundance God shared with me. Darkness and light.

So I'm dancing the dance, trying to stay this side of despair, but not prettying up darkness so much that the light has no contrast. It's a hard line to dance. I tip over onto the despair side, only to have the Lord remind me to throw in cache's of light. It's a privilege to do so. And necessary too.

www.marydemuth.com

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Comments

[Nicole]

Everyone has his place in the darkness. Born into it. You have earned the "right" to portray it as you've seen it, Mary, in all its stifling blackness. But, as you said, you've come out of the darkness into His light, the only place where it exists.
As with most novels, some cannot handle the stories which expose true darkness. Their light flickers when they read them because of the insecurity in their light, they're fragile and shaken by the threat of that darkness either emotionally, intellectually, or spiritually.
You must write the stories God has for you to communicate, allowing the Spirit to determine which lines you may cross to reveal His truth.

[BJ Hamrick]

This is beautiful, Mary. And so true.

[dianne]

I have heard this described recently (not in a writing context but I think it fits) as living in the "creative tension." I think it's human nature to swing one way or the other but where it happens is in the balance between the two. You put this so beautifully (as well your writing is an example)!

[Mary E. DeMuth]

Nicole, great points. And going to the Spirit to lead me to write is where I want to be.

BJ: Thanks so much.

Dianne: Love that, "creative tension."

[J. Mark Bertrand]

This reminds me, Mary, of something I read recently, where a musician lamented the fact that, with the disappearance of the psalter from worship, the church was losing sung access to a whole range of human emotional expression, from the heights to the depths, which was being replaced by something more abridged, a psychology derived from some place other than Scripture. I think a similar case could be made when it comes to the way that "tone" is moderated in evangelical art. To be honest, I'm worried more by the tone police than by the content restrictions, because there is a rich tradition of great art produced under similarly restricted circumstances to draw upon, but there is no history of great art produced with tonal constraints.

I'm not saying that every psalm has to end the way Psalm 137 does in order to be "authentic," just that we could never have a truly representative book of the heart if no psalm were allowed to end on such a note. Couldn't we say the same for books? Taken as a whole, we'd like to see a certain fulness on the evangelical bookshelf, but that doesn't mean it has to be packed into every title. You can have a Book of Job on the shelf because there's a Book of Ruth, too, and you can have a Psalm 137 because there's a Psalm 51 and a Psalm 150. Taken as a whole, they show the full picture, but no single one of them is expected to do it all -- and if it were, the result (paradoxically) would be not fullness but thinness.

[Merrie Destefano]

Mary,
I have a tendency to "dance in the dark" a bit while I'm writing. I've come to the conclusion that not all people are going to like what I write. My stories will draw certain readers. I’m reminded of the scripture in Luke, where a certain debtor who had been forgiven much, loved much.

Most of the time, I’m writing to my fellow debtors, many of whom have not been forgiven yet.

So for me, darkness is part of that great debt, it’s the sin that lurks in the shadows. I also believe my writing is a way to rescue that one lost sheep. Alone on darkened hillside cliff. Scared and crying and longing for hope.

So, I guess I understand the dance in the dark. For me, it’s necessary.

[Mary E. DeMuth]

That's a fascinating view, Mark. I sometimes feel bad when someone says, "I read for escape, which is why I don't read your books." Perhaps that's part of America's tendency to live fully for that which is entertaining.

That's okay. Every reader is different.

But recently, I had an interaction that confirmed something for me. I spoke at a book club. The lady next to me said, with anger in her voice, "Why did you have to have Mara be molested? She had enough neglect. Why that too?"

But later in the evening, with a quiet voice, she said. "I was sexually abused. And I never told a soul. Which meant my sister was abused too. We still don't talk about it."

My "dark" fiction opened a door of honesty and potential healing for this woman. I could've been nicer to my character, not made her go through the hell she went through. But then this woman might not have ever shared her story, albeit hesitantly.

[Mary E. DeMuth]

Merrie, that's a beautiful way to put it. Thanks.

[Kristi Holl]

Terrific discussion here--and it sheds some light on comments I got in my critique group last week. "Your main character is depressed," someone said. Well, yeah, but she has a right, and she's struggling with telling the truth, and it's not easy, and she's certainly not being rewarded for it. I found out later that my main character had struck a chord with someone in the group who was also trying to "come out of hiding." Sometimes our truth gets too close to those still trying to keep up a front. I can't read escape fiction because it feels so "unreal" to me. I'm glad there's a market for everything!
www.Writers-First-Aid.blogspot.com

[Kennisha]

Mary,

I've often wondered the same thing. I echo your feelings. How in the world can I have balance? I sort of looked at it like telling a testimony- whether a real testimony or fictional- the light will certainly show itself in the right timing in the book. =) I'm sure readers will know that something AWESOME is bound to happen to totally redeem the character who seems to be "going thru". I understand completely how you feel.

Sincerely,
Kennisha

[Elizabeth M Thompson]

Real life is messy and sometimes dark and frightening, but in it we discover a yearning for the light.

If our writing reflects only the light, it misses the need, the yearning, the motivation that keeps the reader moving toward the end of the book.

Keep writing real!